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Meeting Your Inner Family



By Caroline Myss Phd.

Child: Orphan

The Orphan Child is the major character in most well known children's stories, including Little Orphan Annie, the Matchstick Girl,
Bambi, the Little Mermaid, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, Cinderella, and many more. The pattern in these stories is reflected in

precisely because orphans are not allowed into the family circle, they have to develop independence early in life. The absence of
family influences, attitudes, and traditions inspires or compels the Orphan Child to construct an inner reality based on personal
judgment and experience. Orphans who succeed at finding a path of survival on their own are celebrated in fairy tales and folk
stories as having won a battle with a dark force, which symbolically represents the fear of surviving alone in this world.

The shadow aspect manifests when orphans never recover from growing up outside the family circle. Feelings of abandonment
and the scar tissue from family rejection stifle their maturation, often causing them to seek surrogate family structures in order to
experience tribal union. Therapeutic support groups become shadow tribes or families for an Orphan Child who knows deep down
that healing these wounds requires moving on to adulthood. Identifying with the Orphan begins by evaluating your childhood
memories, paying particular attention to whether your painful history arises from the feeling that you were never accepted as a
family member.

Films: Margaret O'Brien in The Secret Garden; Victoire Thivisol in Ponette ; Hayley Mills in Pollyanna.

Fiction: David Copperfield by Charles Dickens; The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum.

Drama: The Changeling by Thomas Middleton.

Fairy Tales: Snow White, Cinderella, Bambi, The Little Mermaid.

Religion/Myth: Romulus and Remus (twins of Roman myth who were cast into the Tiber, miraculously rescued by a she-wolf, and
went on to found Rome); Moses; Havelock the Dane (in medieval romance, the orphan son of Birkabegn, King of Denmark, cast
adrift by treacherous guardians but found and raised by a British fisherman, and eventually made King of Denmark and part of
England).

Child: Wounded

The Wounded Child archetype holds the memories of the abuse, neglect, and other traumas that we have endured during
childhood. This may be the pattern people relate to the most, particularly since it has become the focus of therapy and accepted
as a major culprit in the analysis of adult suffering. Choosing the Wounded Child suggests that you credit the painful and abusive
experiences of your childhood with having a substantial influence on your adult life. Many people blame their Wounded Child, for
instance, for all their subsequent dysfunctional relationships.

The painful experiences of the Wounded Child archetype often awaken a deep sense of compassion and a desire to find a path of
service aimed at helping other Wounded Children. From a spiritual perspective, a wounded childhood cracks open the learning
path of forgiveness. The shadow aspect may manifest as an abiding sense of self-pity, a tendency to blame your parents for your
current shortcomings and to resist moving on through forgiveness.

Films: Diana Scarwid in Mommie Dearest; Dean Stockwell in The Secret Garden; Linda Blair in The Exorcist; Natalie Wood in The
Miracle on 34th Street; Leonardo di Caprio in This Boy's Life; Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy.

Fiction: Native Son by Richard Wright; Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens.

Religion/Myth: The Amazons (warrior women of Greek myth who, as children, had their right breast removed to facilitate the use
of bow and arrow, their chief weapon)

Child: Magical/Innocent

The Magical Child represents the part of us that is both enchanted and enchanting to others. It sees the potential for sacred
beauty in all things, exemplified by Tiny Tim in Dickens's A Christmas Carol, and by Anne Frank, who wrote in her diary that in
spite of all the horror surrounding her family while hiding from Nazis in an attic in Amsterdam, she still believed that humanity was
basically good. Her insights offered at a time when most people were collapsing under the weight of war and persecution continue
to inspire people to seek out the wondrous side of life, even in a crisis.

One might assume from the name that this archetype refers to only the delightful qualities of children, but as demonstrated by
Anne Frank and Tiny Tim, it also embodies qualities of wisdom and courage in the face of difficult circumstances.

Baudelaire wrote that "genius is childhood recaptured," and in that sense the Magical Child is something of a genius too. The
Magical Child is gifted with the power of imagination and the belief that everything is possible. The shadow energy of the Magical
Child manifests as the absence of the possibility of miracles and of the transformation of evil to good. Attitudes of pessimism and
depression, particularly when exploring dreams, often emerge from an injured Magical Child whose dreams were "once upon a
time" thought foolish by cynical adults. The shadow may also manifest as a belief that energy and action are not required,
allowing one to retreat into fantasy.

Films: Drew Barrymore in E.T.; Margaret O'Brien in Meet Me in St. Louis; George du Fresne in Ma Vie en Rose; Shirley Temple in
Good Ship Lollipop.

Fiction: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry; Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren; Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
and Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll.

Religion/Myth: Merlin (in Arthurian legend, the "child without a father" who was about to be sacrificed when he saved himself by
displaying magic greater than the King's sorcerers).

Child: Nature

This archetype inspires deep, intimate bonding with natural forces, and has a particular affinitiy for friendships with animals.
Although the Nature Child has tender, emotional qualities, it can also have an inner toughness and ability to survive--the resilience
of Nature herself. Nature Children can develop advanced skills of communicating with animals, and in stories reflecting this
archetype an animal often comes to the rescue of its child companion. Many veterinarians and animal right activists resonate with
this archetype because they have felt a conscious rapport with animals since childhood. Other adults describe being in
communication with nature spirits and learning to work in harmony with them in maintaining the order of nature.

The shadow aspect of the Nature Child manifests in a tendency to abuse animals and people and the environment.

A love of animals is not sufficient to qualify for this archetype, however. A life pattern of relating to animals in an intimate and
caring way, to the extent that your psyche and spirit need these bonds as a crucial part of your own well-being, is your best clue
in this direction.

Films: Elizabeth Taylor in National Velvet ; Anna Paquin in Fly Away Home; Claude Jarman in The Yearling; Kelly Reno in The
Black Stallion; Tommy Kirk in Old Yeller; Jean-Pierre Cargol in The Wild Child.

Television: Rin Tin Tin; Flipper; My Friend Flicka; Lassie

Fiction: Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Song: "Nature Boy."

Religion/Myth: Persephone (in Greek myth, the daughter of Demeter, who was abducted to Hades and was associated with the
agricultural cycles of growth and harvest); St. Francis of Assisi (Catholic friar said to have communicated with animals).

Child: Puer/Puella Eternis (Eternal Boy/Girl)

Positive aspects of the archetype manifest as a determination to remain eternally young in body, mind, and spirit. People who
maintain that age will never stop them from enjoying life are relying on the positive energy of this archetype to supply that
healthy attitude. The shadow Eternal Child often manifests as an inability to grow up and embrace the responsible life of an adult.
Like Peter Pan, he resists ending a cycle of life in which he is free to live outside the boundaries of conventional adulthood. The
shadow Puella Eternis can manifest in women as extreme dependency on those who take charge of their physical security. A
consistent inability to be relied on and the inability to accept the aging process are also markers of this archetype. Although few
people delight in the ending of their youth, the Eternal Child is sometimes left floundering and ungrounded between the stages of
life, because he has not laid a foundation for a functioning adulthood.

Films: Tom Hanks in Big; Pee Wee Herman in Pee Wee's Big Adventure; Carroll Baker in Baby Doll; Thomas Hulce in Dominic and
Eugene, and as Mozart in Amadeus.

Fairy Tales: Peter Pan.

Religion/Myth: Cupid (boy god of Roman myth said to have been born from a silver egg); Harpa-Khruti (Horus the child);
Harpocrates (Greek deity of god of silence and secrecy, represented as a naked boy sucking his finger);

Child, Divine

The Divine Child is closely related to both the Innocent and Magical Child, but is distinguished from them both by its redemptive
mission. The Divine Child also has a historical resonance all its own. At the beginning of the Piscean Age 2,000 years ago, the
archetype of the Divine Family was introduced. That structure of the Father, Mother, and Divine Child (God the Father, Mary, and
Jesus) was somewhat prefigured in ancient Egyptian mythology by Osiris, Isis, and their son Horus, but they do not share the
warm-hearted union of love and divinity that the Christian motif developed. The Divine Child is associated with innocence, purity,
and redemption, god-like qualities that suggest that the Child enjoys a special union with the Divine itself. Few people are inclined
to choose the Divine Child as their dominant Child archetype, however, because they have difficulty acknowledging that they
could live continually in divine innocence. And yet, divinity is also a reference point of your inner spirit that you can turn to when
you are in a conscious process of choice.

You may also assume that anything divine cannot have a shadow aspect, but that's not realistic. The shadow of this archetype
manifests as an inability to defend itself against negative forces. Even the mythic gods and most spiritual masters -- including
Jesus, who is the template of the Divine Child for the Christian tradition -- simultaneously expressed anger and divinnnnee strength
when confronting those who claimed to represent heaven while manifesting injustice, arrogance, or other negative qualities (think
of Jesus' wrath at the money-changers in the Temple). Assess your involvement with this archetype by asking whether you see
life through the eyes of a benevolent, trusting God/Goddess, or whether you tend to respond initially with fear of being hurt or
with a desire to hurt others first.

Films: Terence Stamp in Billy Budd; character of the young Dalai Lama in Kundun; character of the young Pu Yi in The Last
Emperor; Alex Wiesendanger in Little Buddha.

Religion/Myth: Horus (in Egyptian myth, divine son of Isis and Osiris); Siddartha Gautama (according to legend, the future Buddha
was born proclaiming that his cycle of rebirths was about to end); Infant of Prague (statue of Jesus as a child dressed in royal
robes and wearing a crown, originating in 17th-century Czechoslovakia); Demophon (in Greek myth, the son of Metanira, queen
of Eleusis, who was raised as a divine being by Demeter); 18. Balakrisna (the child form of Krishna in Hindu myth); Suitengu
(Japanese child god of the sea).